By Dina Hamouch– Do you know what it feels like to fight so hard for stability, only to realize it’s costing you everything? To finally get what you worked for, but feel like you’re losing yourself in the process? I thought I had learned my lesson. I thought I had already hit rock bottom when we lost the restaurant—when our savings vanished, and I stood there, pregnant with my third child, staring at the ruins of everything we had built. But rock bottom has layers. And I was about to fall deeper.

Starting Over: When Survival Demands Everything

There was no time to grieve what we had lost. No space to feel sorry for ourselves. My husband and I did what we had to do—we started over from scratch. He went back to working in restaurants. I applied for a job as a database analyst in the Netherlands, even though my chances were slim. I was 35. A mother of three. No one to help me. No backup plan. Just my husband’s hand in mine, holding me up. I had lost confidence in myself. But I applied anyway—because I had no other choice. And somehow, I got the job. A Lebanese-Dutch woman in a corporate world dominated by Dutch and German professionals. Full-time. From 9 AM to 6 PM. My husband worked from 5 PM to 2 AM. We became strangers in our own home. When I wanted to rest, he was leaving for work. When he wanted to sleep, I was already gone. We were running. Always running. And yet, we were still stuck. High salaries meant high taxes. The endless cycle of working, earning, paying, burning out. The rat race that never ends.

The Moment That Shattered Me

One night, I came home exhausted. My kids were waiting for me—excited, eager to share their day, craving my attention. But I had nothing left to give. Financially, we were stable. So why was I still running? Why was my mind stuck in a loop, always thinking about the future, as if survival depended on it? Was it my programming? Was it because I was living in the Netherlands but still trying to build a life in both Lebanon and here—two futures, two responsibilities, two versions of myself pulling in opposite directions? What was this feeling? This constant guilt, this fear of making the wrong choice. Was I betraying one life by choosing the other? I was there, but I wasn’t present. The realization hit me like a punch to the chest—I was losing them. We had moved to this country to give them a better future, but what kind of future was I creating if their mother was just a shadow passing through their childhood? And my husband… the love of my life. The man I had left everything for. We were slipping away from each other, barely speaking, barely touching, drowning in exhaustion. This wasn’t the dream. This wasn’t the life we fought for. So we had to decide. One of us had to step back. But did he ask me to do that? Did we even talk about it? Or did I just decide—out of love, out of duty, out of fear? And why should I talk about it? Why should I place this burden on him? I had to protect him. I had to protect my kids. Without realizing it, I had put myself in the role of a victim. Not by words, not by actions—but by the quiet, unseen sacrifices I kept making.

Once Again, It Was Me.

I made the choice for him. I carried it alone. I told myself it was the right thing, that my kids came first, that I could always rebuild again later. I walked away from everything I had just rebuilt. From the career that made me feel visible again. From the financial security I had fought so hard to earn. From the path that could have been my second chance. I let it all go—for them. I should have felt peace. But the truth? I felt like I had shattered all over again. I was grateful to be there for my children. But deep down, a voice kept whispering: Is this all you were meant for?

To Every Woman Who Has Had to Choose

Maybe you’ve been here too. Maybe you’ve sacrificed your dreams for your family. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that this is just how it is—that you don’t get to have both. But let me tell you something: You don’t have to disappear to be a good mother. You don’t have to give up on yourself to love your family. I thought I had hit the bottom again. But what I didn’t know yet was that this was the beginning of something greater. Everything is connected—the struggles, the lessons, the moments of doubt. They are all leading somewhere.

This Is One Step Closer to “Mom in Business”

I didn’t realize it then, but this was the moment everything changed. The moment I stopped waiting for opportunities and started creating them. I was a dreamer—grateful, but not satisfied. I believed my children were the reason behind my dreams, not an excuse to abandon them. Was I right? Was I wrong? That’s not the point. Because if you are fulfilled by being a mother and living a stable life, that is just as valid. Your happiness is yours to define. But let’s be honest—motherhood is the hardest role we will ever take on. And what kind of mother you choose to be? That decision is yours alone. One thing is certain: if you are not happy, if you feel stuck, uninspired, or restless, then you are not truly satisfied. And that’s okay to admit. What’s not okay is forcing yourself to accept a version of life that doesn’t fulfill you—just because it’s what you were taught, or because it feels easier than change. And never, ever attack another woman for choosing differently. If someone else’s path makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself why. Is it because her choices challenge your own limiting beliefs? If another mother criticizes or even tries to belittle you just because you are doing something that threatens her worldview, ignore it. Keep moving. Because just like riding a bicycle, balance comes from motion. Keep moving forward, and you will find your own way.

In my next article, I’ll share how I stopped asking for permission to exist beyond the roles I had been given. Because the truth is—we don’t have to choose between being present for our families and fulfilling our dreams. We just have to rewrite the rules. So I ask you: Have you ever sacrificed a piece of yourself for the ones you love? If you have, know this—you are not alone. And your story is far from over.

The Author

Dina Hamouch is a mother of three, an entrepreneur, and a guide for women rewriting their stories. Follow her journey as she explores the messy, magnificent truth of building a life beyond the blueprint.